Jay McGraw's Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies

Written in simple language this book is geared to young teens, and even tweeners, who want to understand bullying and what they can do about it.

The author, Jay McGraw, does a good job of defining bullying, varieties of bullying, and the psychology behind bullies, victims, and bystanders.

Here's the chapter headings which will give you a good idea of what material is covered:

Table of Contents

Introduction (by father Phil)

1. What is Bullying
2. E-Bullying
3. Why Do Kids Bully Others?
4. The Damage Bullies Can Do
5. Are You Being Bullied?
6. Are You a Bully?
7. Taking on Bullies: What Kids Can Do
8. No Innocent Bystanders
9. Educating Parents
10. What Kids Can Ask Schools to Do
11. Forgiving a Bully

I have to say that the introductory chapters were covered so well that I was really expecting a stupendous conclusion, complete with a list of action items that kids and adults could implement. Unfortunately, the book let me down in that regards. While there were some general suggestions, like staring your bully down, and enlisting the help of friends, there was nothing I would consider new, or even untraditional.

The book, for example, didn't even suggest using a lawyer, even though McGraw has a law degree, and even though there have been examples in the press that demonstrate that school systems will bend over backwards after receiving a legal notification that there is a problem. The book also doesn't suggest contacting ISP providers with evidence of cyber-bullying. Instead it suggests children tell their parents. Which, of course, assumes THEY/WE know what to do.


Wrap Up:::

On the plus side, I think Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies would be a good book for guidance counselors to have on their shelves as it provides a good basis for discussion. I also like that McGraw's approach is positive and that he seeks to empower and reassure kids.

On the negative side, the book doesn't present any really concrete solutions, but rather has some suggestions that might work. It would have been nice, for example, to have had some real life success stories, but there weren't any. Further more, it seems a tad disingenuous to advise children to make friends and "act" confident. One assumes that they would already be doing that, if they could.

Ultimately, I have to say that this is a book that is generally not going to solve most people's bullying problems, although it will help frame discussions.

Adults should note that there are some very good anti-bullying programs available for schools. And that most states have anti-bullying laws.

I could find no Accelerated Reading (wikipedia entry) designation for this book.